Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday July 31, 2015

There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship...
There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship lay at anchor, She woke in dismay, When she heard the mate say, "Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker."

There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved...
There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved up the mutton, "My father preferred The last sheep in the herd -- This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."