Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday July 24, 2015

Augustus, for splashing his soup, Was put for the night on...
Augustus, for splashing his soup, Was put for the night on the stoop; In the morning he'd not Repented a jot, And next day he was dead of the croup. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.

The covers of this book are too far apart. --...
The covers of this book are too far apart. -- Book review by Ambrose Bierce.

I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, A bit or byte to read...
I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, A bit or byte to read or write, I/O, I/O, I/O...