Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday October 10, 2016

You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.

Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot...
Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot of my bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. -- Edward Gorey

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."

There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long...
There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long or more, So he wore the damn thing In a surgical sling To keep it from wiping the floor.

Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling...
Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling for the aesthetic modules --

A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.
A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.