Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday July 4, 2016

There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex, And it played with itself inbetween.

There was a young fellow named Gene Who first picked...
There was a young fellow named Gene Who first picked his asshole quite clean. He next picked his toes, And lastly his nose, And he never did wash in between.

There was a young fellow of Harrow Whose john was the size of...
There was a young fellow of Harrow Whose john was the size of a marrow. He said to his tart, "How's this for a start? My balls are outside in a barrow."

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. -- Ogden...
Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. -- Ogden Nash, "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" Fortune updates the great quotes: #53. Candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker, and sex won't rot your teeth.