Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday July 30, 2016

A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse...
A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How could I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge-- Just the same as she'd acted in life."

Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze...
Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze and you slouch. You can't take your women Canoein' or swimmin', But a lot can be done on a couch.

Dijkstra probably hates me (Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c)
Dijkstra probably hates me (Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c)