Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday August 10, 2016

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful,...
If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, give me a call.

I am professionally trained in computer science, which is...
I am professionally trained in computer science, which is to say (in all seriousness) that I am extremely poorly educated. -- Joseph Weizenbaum, "Computer Power and Human Reason"

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would...
If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable. -- George Ade, "Forty Modern Fables"

Life is the childhood of our immortality. --...
Life is the childhood of our immortality. -- Goethe