Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday August 12, 2016

99 blocks of crud on the disk, 99 blocks of crud! You patch...
99 blocks of crud on the disk, 99 blocks of crud! You patch a bug, and dump it again: 100 blocks of crud on the disk! 100 blocks of crud on the disk, 100 blocks of crud! You patch a bug, and dump it again: 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...

COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There was a young curate whose brain Was deranged from the...
There was a young curate whose brain Was deranged from the use of cocaine; He lured a small child To a copse dark and wild, Where he beat it to death with his cane. -- Edward Gorey

Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back"...
Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada Ltd. of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan. The company noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5 per cent defects (a fairly high...

It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.
It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.