Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday August 26, 2016

"Murphy's Law, that brash proletarian restatement...
"Murphy's Law, that brash proletarian restatement of Godel's Theorem ..." -- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot ...
A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot Said the two to the tutor: "Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tutors to toot"

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

God is real, unless declared integer.
God is real, unless declared integer.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience...
The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing. -- Andre Maurois (Emile Herzog)

I can live without Someone I love But not without Someone...
I can live without Someone I love But not without Someone I need. -- "Safety"