Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday December 28, 2018

There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife,...
There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife, as he goosed her, "It used to be grand But look at my hand You're not wiping as clean as ya uster."

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed...
There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed in a chalice. 'Twas the common belief It was done for relief, And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young man from Bengal Who claimed he had only...
There was a young man from Bengal Who claimed he had only one ball, But two little bitches Pulled down this man's breeches And proved he had nothing at all.

There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to...
There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole; There's plenty of room in the right one."

This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see...
This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see You cannot tell the he from the she But she can tell, and so can he The little bee is never still She has no time to take the pill And that is why, in times like these There are so many sons...