Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday January 18, 2020

77. HO HUM -- The Redundant ------- (7) This hexagram...
77. HO HUM -- The Redundant ------- (7) This hexagram refers to a situation of extreme --- --- (8) boredom. Your programs always bomb off. Your wife ------- (7) smells bad. Your children have hives. You are working ---O--- (6) on...

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

There once was a fellow named Sweeney Who spilled gin all over...
There once was a fellow named Sweeney Who spilled gin all over his weenie. Not being uncouth, He added vermouth And slipped his amour a martini.

In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with...
In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a "Continental Belt," for $10.99!!

if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!
if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!

You will be dead within a year.
You will be dead within a year.