Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of October, 2020

... so long as the people do not care to exercise their...
... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon...

A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in He committed a sin Without even leaving the garage. -- "A Boy and His Dog"

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady named Etta Who was constantly seen in...
There was a young lady named Etta Who was constantly seen in a swetta. Three reasons she had: To keep warm wasn't bad, But the other two reasons were betta.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris Just touched her clitoris, And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is...
There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is the scandal concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And tickled the cock Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em. Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool, He'd been to a good public...

Though his plan, when he gave her a buzz, Was to do what...
Though his plan, when he gave her a buzz, Was to do what man normally does, She declared, "I'm a Soul- Not a sexual goal!" So he shrugged and called someone who was.