Freebsd Fortunes 3

Fifth Law of Applied Terror:
        If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Corollary:
        If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

File cabinet:
        A four drawer, manually activated trash compactor.

filibuster, n:
        Throwing your wait around.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
                -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Finagle's Creed:
        Science is true.  Don't be misled by facts.

Finagle's Eighth Law:
        If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Finagle's Ninth Law:
        No matter what results are expected,
        someone is always willing to fake it.

Finagle's Tenth Law:
        No matter what the result someone
        is always eager to misinterpret it.

Finagle's Eleventh Law:
        No matter what occurs, someone believes
        it happened according to his pet theory.

Finagle's First Law:
        To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

Finagle's Second Law:
        Always keep a record of data -- it indicates you've been working.

Finagle's Fourth Law:
        Once a job is fouled up,
        anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Finagle's Fifth Law:
        Always draw your curves, then plot your readings.

Finagle's Sixth Law:
        Don't believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Finagle's Seventh Law:
        The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.

Finagle's Third Law:
        In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
        beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Corollaries:
        1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it.
        2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really
           don't want to hear, will see it immediately.

Finality is death.
Perfection is finality.
Nothing is perfect.
There are lumps in it.