Freebsd Fortunes 3

Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're
leading the parade.
                -- Bill Battie

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
                -- Kin Hubbard, "Abe Martin's Sayings"

Clay's Conclusion:
        Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
                -- Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
the dirt doesn't get any worse.
                -- Quentin Crisp

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
                -- P.J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

CLEVELAND:
        Where their last tornado did six
        million dollars worth of improvements.

Cleveland?
Yes, I spent a week there one day.

Climate and Surgery
        R C Gilchrist, who was shot by J Sharp twelve days ago, and who
received a derringer ball in the right breast, and who it was supposed at
the time could not live many hours, was on the street yesterday and the
day before - walking several blocks at a time.  To those who design to be
riddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially
recommend our Sacramento climate and Sacramento surgery.
                -- Sacramento Daily Union, September 11, 1861

Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
        "Wait a minute.  Aren't you a string?"
        "Well, yes, I am."
        "Sorry.  We don't serve strings here."
        The determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by.  "Excuse,
me," it said, "would you shred my ends and tie me up like a pretzel?"  The
passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar.  "May I have a beer,
please?" it asked the bartender.
        The barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.
"Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
        "No, I'm a frayed knot."