Freebsd Fortunes 3

Hard work may not kill you, but why take the chance?

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
                -- Charlie McCarthy

Hardware:
        The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Hardware met Software on the road to Changtse. Software said: "You are Yin
and I am Yang. If we travel together we will become famous and earn vast
sums of money." And so the set forth together, thinking to conquer the world.
        Presently they met Firmware, who was dressed in tattered rage and
hobbled along propped on a thorny stick.  Firmware said to them: "The Tao
lies beyond Yin and Yang.  It is silent and still as a pool of water.  It does
not seek fame, therefore nobody knows its presence.  It does not seek fortune,
for it is complete within itself.  It exists beyond space and time."
        Software and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.

hardware, n:
        The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Hark, Hark, the dogs do bark
The Duke is fond of kittens
He likes to take their insides out
And use them for his mittens
                -- The Thirteen Clocks

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.

Angels we have heard on High
Tell us to go out and Buy.

Harp not on that string.
                -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

Harriet's Dining Observation:
        In every restaurant, the hardness of the butter pats
        increases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.

Harris had the beefstead pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George
and I were waiting with our plates ready.
        "Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help
the gravy with."
        The hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to
reach one out.  We were not five seconds getting it.  When we looked round
again, Harris and the pie were gone!
        It was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for
hundreds of yards.  He could not have tumbled into the river, because we were
on the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.
        George and I gazed all about.  Then we gazed at each other.
        "Has he been snatched up to heaven?" I queried.
        "They'd hardly have taken the pie, too," said George.
        There seemed weight in this objection, and we discarded the heavenly
theory.
        "I suppose the truth of the matter is," suggested George, descending
to the commonplace and practicable, "that there has been an earthquake."
        And then he added, with a touch of sadness in his voice: "I wish he
hadn't been carving that pie."
                -- Jerome K. Jerome, "Three Men In A Boat"