Freebsd Fortunes 5

Magnet, n.:  Something acted upon by magnetism.

Magnetism, n.:  Something acting upon a magnet.

The two preceding definitions are condensed from the works of one
thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a
great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

MAGNOCARTIC:
        Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

magnocartic, adj:
        Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping
        carts.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

MAGPIE:
        A bird whose thievish disposition suggested
        to someone that it might be taught to talk.
                -- A. Bierce

MAIDEN AUNT:
        A girl who never had the sense to say "uncle."

Maiden, n:
        A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and
        views that madden to crime.  The genus has a wide geographical
        distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found.
        The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her
        piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to
        comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to
        the part of her that is audible, beaten out of the field by the
        canary -- which, also, is more portable.

Male, n:
        A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.  The male of the
        human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man.  The genus
        has two varieties:  good providers and bad providers.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Maier's Law:
        If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
                -- N.R. Maier, "American Psychologist", March 1960

Corollaries:
        1.  The bigger the theory, the better.
        2.  The experiment may be considered a success if no more than
            50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to
            obtain a correspondence with the theory.

Main's Law:
        For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Maintainer's Motto:
        If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.

Maj. Bloodnok:  Seagoon, you're a coward!
Seagoon:        Only in the holiday season.
Maj. Bloodnok:  Ah, another Noel Coward!