Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday October 20, 2012

You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need...
You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first and last month in advance.

QOTD: "I won't say he's untruthful, but his wife...
QOTD: "I won't say he's untruthful, but his wife has to call the dog for dinner."

A lacklustre lady of Brougham Weaveth all night at her loom...
A lacklustre lady of Brougham Weaveth all night at her loom. Anon she doth blench When her lord and his wench Pull a chain in the neighbouring room.

From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews, There is really abominable...
From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews, There is really abominable news; They've discovered a head In the box for the bread, But nobody seems to know whose. -- Edward Gorey

Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.

Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.

Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.