Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday May 13, 2016

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace...
There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace called Crystal. Said she, "It's all glass, And as round as my ass," And she farted as loud as a pistol.