Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday December 3, 2017

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young fellow called Clyde Who fell in an outhouse...
There was a young fellow called Clyde Who fell in an outhouse and died. He had a twin brother Who fell in another So now they're interred side by side.

There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into...
There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, That they do with one's cunt, You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young woman, quite handsome, Who got stuck in...
There was a young woman, quite handsome, Who got stuck in a sleeping room transom. When she offered much gold For release, she was told That the view was worth more than the ransom.

There's a tavern in London that's staffed, By a barmaid who's...
There's a tavern in London that's staffed, By a barmaid who's tops at her craft: In her striving to please, She serves ale on her knees, So the patrons get head with their draft.