Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday February 24, 2020

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets...
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was an old maid from Cape Cod Who thought all good things...
There was an old maid from Cape Cod Who thought all good things came from god. But it wasn't the almighty Who lifted her nighty, It was Roger, the lodger, by god.

Consider the following axioms carefully: ...
Consider the following axioms carefully: "Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz." and "Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it." What happens if one spreads Blue Bonnet margarine on a Ritz cracker? ...