Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of August, 2020

The one L lama, he's a priest The two L llama, he's a beast...
The one L lama, he's a priest The two L llama, he's a beast And I will bet my silk pyjama There isn't any three L lllama. -- O. Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally his department responded to something...

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey

A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could...
A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could not be deferred. So to irritate Knox He shit in his sox, And plastered the walls with his turd.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young woman, quite handsome, Who got stuck in...
There was a young woman, quite handsome, Who got stuck in a sleeping room transom. When she offered much gold For release, she was told That the view was worth more than the ransom.

Growing old isn't bad when you consider the alternatives...
Growing old isn't bad when you consider the alternatives. -- Maurice Chevalier

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Help! I'm trapped in a PDP 11/70!
Help! I'm trapped in a PDP 11/70!

I'm going to live forever, or die trying! --...
I'm going to live forever, or die trying! -- Spider Robinson

A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My...
A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My dears, Though you may think it odd of me, I'm tired of just sodomy Let's try straight fucking." (loud cheers!)