Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2020

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady named Blount Who had a rectangular...
There was a young lady named Blount Who had a rectangular cunt. She learned for diversion Posterior perversion, Since no one could fit here in front.

Our country has plenty of good five-cent cigars, but...
Our country has plenty of good five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight...
A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight all bare, And prayed to her God For a romp on the sod-- 'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A joker who haunts Monticello Is really a terrible fellow...
A joker who haunts Monticello Is really a terrible fellow. In the midst of caresses He fills ladies dresses With garter snakes, ice cubes, and jello.