Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday July 18, 2020

A corpulent maiden named Kroll Had a notion exceedingly droll: ...
A corpulent maiden named Kroll Had a notion exceedingly droll: At a masquerade ball, Dressed in nothing at all, She backed in as a Parker House roll.

A lady both callous and brash Met a man with a vast black...
A lady both callous and brash Met a man with a vast black moustache; She cried, "Shave it, O do! And I'll put it with glue On my hat as a sort of panache." -- Edward Gorey

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.