Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Wednesday October 18, 2023

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in He committed a sin Without even leaving the garage. -- "A Boy and His Dog"

A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse...
A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How could I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge-- Just the same as she'd acted in life."

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.

A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take...
A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take a chance." She let herself go For an hour or so, And now all her sisters are aunts.

A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny...
A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny and long. He ate rice with his fingers-- The taste of it lingers, But now all his fingers are gone.

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden Went down on her beau in...
A sweetheart named Teresa Arden Went down on her beau in the garden. He said, "Good lord, Tess, Don't swallow that mess " And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A team playing baseball in Dallas Called te umpire blind out...
A team playing baseball in Dallas Called te umpire blind out of malice. While this worthy had fits The team made eight hits And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse,...
There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse, and died. He had a twin brother Who fell in another And now they're interred side by side.