Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday October 26, 2023

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

The worst part of having success is trying to find someone...
The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you. -- Bette Midler

An amazon giantess named Dunne Let a midget screw her for fun...
An amazon giantess named Dunne Let a midget screw her for fun. But the poor little runt Was engulfed in her cunt And re-born as the twin of his son.

An incautious young woman named Venn Was seen with the wrong...
An incautious young woman named Venn Was seen with the wrong sort of men; She vanished one day, But the following May Her legs were retrieved from a fen. -- Edward Gorey

There was a young fellow from Kent Whose cock was so long that...
There was a young fellow from Kent Whose cock was so long that it bent To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young lady named Schneider Who often kept trysts...
There was a young lady named Schneider Who often kept trysts with a spider. She found a strange bliss, In the hiss of her piss, As it strained through the cobwebs inside her.

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, ...
There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, So she called the conductor, Who got in and fucked her, Which did more good than a pill.

There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into...
There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, That they do with one's cunt, You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot...
There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. Said she, "You're a sluggard!" Said he, "You be buggered! I like to fuck slow and I shall."

There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved...
There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved up the mutton, "My father preferred The last sheep in the herd -- This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."

There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to...
There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to a beadle. Said she, "Does it itch?" "It does, you damned bitch, And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."