Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2024

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write...
There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write "cunt" on a shutter. When he got to c-u, A pious Hindoo Knocked him ass-over-head in the gutter.

There was a young man of Dumfries Who said to his girl,...
There was a young man of Dumfries Who said to his girl, "If you please, It would give me great bliss If, while playing with this, You would pay some attention to these!"

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Keep Cool, but Don't Freeze - Hellman's...
Keep Cool, but Don't Freeze - Hellman's Mayonnaise

Talkers are no good doers. -- William...
Talkers are no good doers. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

He who knows not and knows that he knows not is ignorant...
He who knows not and knows that he knows not is ignorant. Teach him. He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool. Shun him. He who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep. Wake him.

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A: ...
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels? A: More head room. Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex? A: She opens...

A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely...
A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely in ruin, For he flirted with flirts Wearing pants and no skirts, And he never got in for no screwin'.