Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2024

A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have...
A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play...

There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in...
There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude, But a man in a punt, Grabbed at her elbow, And said "Hey, lady, you can't swim here, it's private property."




Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

I had the rare misfortune of being one of the first people...
I had the rare misfortune of being one of the first people to try and implement a PL/1 compiler. -- T. Cheatham

A nasty old drunk in Carmel Thinks it funny to piss in...
A nasty old drunk in Carmel Thinks it funny to piss in the well. He says, "Some don't favor That unusual flavor, But I don't drink the stuff -- what the hell!"

A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow...
A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow to bed. When he'd diddled a while She remarked with a smile, "You've got it all in but the head."

A scandal involving an oyster Sent the Countess of Clews to...
A scandal involving an oyster Sent the Countess of Clews to a cloister She preferred it, in bed, To the count (so she said) 'Cause it's longer and stronger and moister.

A young lad named Lester McGraw Caught a stranger on top of...
A young lad named Lester McGraw Caught a stranger on top of his Maw. As he watched him stick her He said, with a snicker, "You do it much faster than Paw."

There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life...
There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life belly to belly. Because in their haste They used library paste, Instead of petroleum jelly.