Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2024

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick...
There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick in her "place." Though she'd kiss it and suck it, She never would fuck it-- She just couldn't relax face-to-face.

There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild...
There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild bacchanalia. He buggered a frog, Two mice and a dog, And a bishop in fullest regalia.

If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been...
If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin.

A CS student named Lin Had a prick the size of a pin...
A CS student named Lin Had a prick the size of a pin It was no good for girls But just great for squirrels Who squealed with delight with it in.

A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald...
A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

A cowhand way out in Seattle Had a dooflicker flat as...
A cowhand way out in Seattle Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. He said, "No, I can't fuck A lamb or a duck, But golly! it just fits the cattle."

A cute little twerp from Samoa Had a cock of one inch and...
A cute little twerp from Samoa Had a cock of one inch and no moa. It was good for keyholes And debutantes' peeholes But not worth a damn on a whoa.

A new dramatist of the absurd Has a voice that will shortly...
A new dramatist of the absurd Has a voice that will shortly be heard. I learn from my spies He's about to devise An unprintable three-letter word.

There once was a horse named Lily Whose dingus was really...
There once was a horse named Lily Whose dingus was really a dilly. It was vaginoid duply, And labial quadruply -- In fact, he was really a filly.