There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like...There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like a young boy
Though it tickled to kiss
'Twas a source of much bliss
When she used it to brush a man's toy.
A lovely young maid from St. Jude
Once rode through the streets...A lovely young maid from St. Jude
Once rode through the streets in the nude.
The police cried, "Whatam--
Agnificent bottom"
And slapped it as hard as they could.
A scandal involving an oyster
Sent the Countess of Clews to...A scandal involving an oyster
Sent the Countess of Clews to a cloister
She preferred it, in bed,
To the count (so she said)
'Cause it's longer and stronger and moister.
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking...In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
And loud was his mirth
For on all of the earth
There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.
There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town...There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town in an Austin,
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.
There was a lewd fellow named Duff
Who loved to dive deep...There was a lewd fellow named Duff
Who loved to dive deep in the muff.
With his head in a whirl
He said, "Spread it, Pearl;
I cunt get enough of the stuff!"
There was a young German named Ringer
Who was screwing an opera...There was a young German named Ringer
Who was screwing an opera singer.
Said he with a grin,
"Well, I've sure got it in!"
Said she, "You mean that ain't your finger?"
There was a young girl of Newcastle
Whose charms were declared...There was a young girl of Newcastle
Whose charms were declared universal.
While one man in front
Wired into her cunt,
Another was engaged at her arsehole.
There was a young lady of Dexter
Whose husband exceedingly...There was a young lady of Dexter
Whose husband exceedingly vexed her,
For whenever they'd start
He'd unfailingly fart
With a blast that damn nearly unsexed her.
There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in...There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in a drain.
They did it again
And again and again,
And again and again and again.