Freebsd Fortunes 6

The savior becomes the victim.

The scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.

Cowboy: "Well, you've been a pretty good hoss, I guess.  Hardworkin'.
 Not the fastest critter I ever come acrost, but..."

Horse:  "No, stupid, not feed*back*.  I said I wanted a feed*bag*.

The Schwine-Kitzenger Institute study of 47 men over the age of 100
showed that all had these things in common:

        1) They all had moderate appetites.
        2) They all came from middle class homes.
        3) All but two of them were dead.

The search for the perfect martini is a fraud.  The perfect martini is
a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings
of civilization.
                -- T.K.

The second best policy is dishonesty.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
        If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!
                -- Jim Warner

The secret of happiness is total disregard of everybody.

The secret of healthy hitchhiking is to eat junk food.

The secret of success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that,
you've got it made.
                -- Jean Giraudoux

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow;
there is no humor in Heaven.
                -- Mark Twain