Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday August 22, 2012

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young fellow named Case Who entered a cunt-lapping...
There was a young fellow named Case Who entered a cunt-lapping race. He licked his way clean Through Number thirteen, But then slipped and got pissed in the face.

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.
Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp...
Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.

As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,...
As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day, I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay, The words were torn and tattered, From the storm the night before, The wind and rain had done its work and this is how it goes, Smoke Coca-Cola...