Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday August 30, 2012

"I cannot read the fiery letters," said Frito Bugger...
"I cannot read the fiery letters," said Frito Bugger in a quavering voice. "No," said GoodGulf, "but I can. The letters are Elvish, of course, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I will...

He thought he saw an albatross That fluttered 'round...
He thought he saw an albatross That fluttered 'round the lamp. He looked again and saw it was A penny postage stamp. "You'd best be getting home," he said, "The nights are rather damp."

The meek shall inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to...
The meek shall inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars.

X windows: It's not how slow you make it. It's how...
X windows: It's not how slow you make it. It's how you make it slow. The windowing system preferred by masochists 3 to 1. Built to take on the world... and lose! Don't try it 'til you've knocked it. Power tools...

If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live...
If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. -- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.7

If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born...
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.

You'll learn something about men and women -- the way they're...
You'll learn something about men and women -- the way they're supposed to be. Caring for each other, being happy with each other, being good to each other. That's what we call love. You'll like that a lot. -- Kirk, "The...