Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of April, 2012

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you...
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are real good, you will get out of it.

"The Computer made me do it."
"The Computer made me do it."

The study of non-linear physics is like the study...
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is...
APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums. -- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5

ASCII a stupid question, you get an EBCDIC answer.
ASCII a stupid question, you get an EBCDIC answer.

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin,...
HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to...

Love -- the last of the serious diseases of childhood.
Love -- the last of the serious diseases of childhood.

Please don't put a strain on our friendship by asking me to...
Please don't put a strain on our friendship by asking me to do something for you.

Slous' Contention: If you do a job too well, you'll...
Slous' Contention: If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it.

There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in...
There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were most horrid All ass and no forehead Three balls and a purple goatee.