Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2012

A man is not complete until he is married -- then he...
A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.

Life is the childhood of our immortality. --...
Life is the childhood of our immortality. -- Goethe

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends...
"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." ...

"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent...
"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give up because by that time I was too famous." -- Robert Benchly

Eagleson's Law: Any code of your own that you haven't...
Eagleson's Law: Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months, might as well have been written by someone else. (Eagleson is an optimist, the real number is more like three weeks.)

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. -- Woody Allen

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their...
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. -- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every Teen Should Know"

Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?
Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?

I hear the sound that the machines make, and feel my heart...
I hear the sound that the machines make, and feel my heart break, just for a moment.

I love dogs, but I hate Chihuahuas. A Chihuahua isn't...
I love dogs, but I hate Chihuahuas. A Chihuahua isn't a dog. It's a rat with a thyroid problem.