Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of June, 2012

die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code); (From...
die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code); (From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c)

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark...
JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark Isaak Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said...

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth...
Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth. -- Picasso

Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for...
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation. -- Lord Thomas Dewar

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

And earnest young woman in Thrace Said, "Darling, that's...
And earnest young woman in Thrace Said, "Darling, that's not the right place!" So he gave her a thwack, And did on her back, What he couldn't have done face to face.

There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with...
There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with a turtle. She had crabs, so they say, In a year and a day Which proved that that turtle was fertile.

There was a strong man of Drumrig Who one day did seven times...
There was a strong man of Drumrig Who one day did seven times frig. He buggered three sailors, Four dogs and two tailors, And ended by fucking a pig.