Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday November 12, 2014

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There once was a girl named Louise Who cunt hair hung down...
There once was a girl named Louise Who cunt hair hung down to her knees The crabs in her twat Tied the hairs in a knot And constructed a flying trapeze

While his duchess lay practically dead, The Duke...
While his duchess lay practically dead, The Duke of Daguerrodargue said: "Can it be this is all? How puny! How small! Have destroyed this disgrace to my bed." -- Edward Gorey

You can have a dog as a friend. You can have whiskey as...
You can have a dog as a friend. You can have whiskey as a friend. But if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing your dog. -- foolin' around