Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday December 31, 2014

There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife,...
There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife, as he goosed her, "It used to be grand But look at my hand You're not wiping as clean as ya uster."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...