Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday January 5, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite...
There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite undefiled By thinking of Jesus; Contagious diseases; And the bother of having a child.

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier...
A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. -- Dennis M. Ritchie

On a morning from a Bogart movie, in a country where they...
On a morning from a Bogart movie, in a country where they turned back time, You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre contemplating a crime. She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running like a watercolor in the rain. Don't bother asking...