Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday January 9, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Yea from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond...
Yea from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond records. -- Hamlet