Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 22, 2015

A pathetic old maid of Bordeaux Fell in love with a dashing...
A pathetic old maid of Bordeaux Fell in love with a dashing young beau. To arrest his regard She would squat in his yard And longingly pee in the sneaux.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

"Mr. Spock succumbs to a powerful mating urge and nearly...
"Mr. Spock succumbs to a powerful mating urge and nearly kills Captain Kirk." -- TV Guide, describing the Star Trek episode _Amok_Time_

The Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development:...
The Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development: To determine how long it will take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.