Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 14, 2015

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking...
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam, And loud was his mirth For on all of the earth There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.

To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple, As he poured...
To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple, As he poured his post-prandial tipple, "Your mother's behaviour Gave pain to Our Saviour, And that's why He made you a cripple." -- Edward Gorey

I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said,...
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks." I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."...

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often...
"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar." -- Mark Twain

Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, ...
Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, We attend and amend Which means that from morning And contend and defend to night, Without a conclusion in sight. We confer and concur, We defer...