Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 29, 2015

As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a fellow named Siegel Who attempted to bugger...
There once was a fellow named Siegel Who attempted to bugger a beagle, But the mettlesome bitch Turned and said with a twitch, "It's fun, but you know it's illegal."

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments...
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every...