Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2017

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, ...
Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, We attend and amend Which means that from morning And contend and defend to night, Without a conclusion in sight. We confer and concur, We defer...

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat" ...
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat" -- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy 1981-1987

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling ...
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x"...

A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit...
A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit. The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long. "No problem," says the tailor. "Just bend them at the elbow and hold them out in front of you. See, now it's...

Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.
Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.

Get Revenge! Live long enough to be a problem for your...
Get Revenge! Live long enough to be a problem for your children!

God made the integers; all else is the work of Man...
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. -- Kronecker

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that...
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair. -- George Burns