Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday November 3, 2017

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight...
A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight all bare, And prayed to her God For a romp on the sod-- 'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile...
We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.

You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded some great honor.