Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday November 18, 2017

A cautious young fellow named Lodge Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, Without even leaving his grodge.

There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly...
There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, The Fitzgerald contraction, Foreshortended his foil to a disk.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat. It was fun in the breeding, But hell in the feeding, When she found there was no tit for Tat.

There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous...
There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous extent, And so deep and so wide, The acoustics inside Were so good you could hear when you spent.

There was a young man of Kutki Who could blink himself off with...
There was a young man of Kutki Who could blink himself off with one eye. For a while though, he pined, When his organ declined To function, because of a stye.

Yow! I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!
Yow! I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless...
History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names. -- Leo Tolstoy

> > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could...
> > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why I > > should use Linux over BSD? > > No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on > creating a name that would appeal to the majority...

Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche...
Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche but only be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on. (Unknown source)