Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday March 1, 2019

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin'...
There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. His father said, "Durcan! Stop jerkin' your gherkin! Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'.

There was an old lady of Kewry Whose cunt was a `lusus...
There was an old lady of Kewry Whose cunt was a `lusus naturae': The `introitus vaginae', Was unnaturally tiny, And the thought of it filled her with fury.