Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday February 5, 2020

I'm So Miserable Without You It's Almost Like Having You Here ...
I'm So Miserable Without You It's Almost Like Having You Here -- Song title by Stephen Bishop. She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft -- Song title by Jerry Reed. When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room Will I...

A day without sunshine is like night.
A day without sunshine is like night.

A progressive professor named Winners Held classes each evening...
A progressive professor named Winners Held classes each evening for sinners. They were graded and spaced So the vile and debased Would not be held back by beginners.

There was a strong man of Drumrig Who one day did seven times...
There was a strong man of Drumrig Who one day did seven times frig. He buggered three sailors, Four dogs and two tailors, And ended by fucking a pig.

There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing...
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing is one thing I do know. A woman is fine, And a sheep is divine, But a llama is Numero Uno."

Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last...
Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police who had shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.