Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday April 6, 2021

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in...
There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were most horrid All ass and no forehead Three balls and a purple goatee.

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, ...
There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, When she got there Her arsehole was bare, And so was her C U N T.

There was a young lady of Spain Who took down her pants on...
There was a young lady of Spain Who took down her pants on a train. There was a young porter Saw more than he orter, And asked her to do it again.

There was a young lady of Spain Who was fucked by a monk in...
There was a young lady of Spain Who was fucked by a monk in a drain. They did it again And again and again, And again and again and again.

There was a young lady of Twickenham Who thought men had...
There was a young lady of Twickenham Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em. On her knees every day To God she would pray To lengthen and strengthen and thicken 'em.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've a feeling My little brown jug Has need of a plug" -- And straightaway she started to peeling.

A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa,...
A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?" And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute."...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

People seem to think that the blanket phrase, "I only work...
People seem to think that the blanket phrase, "I only work here," absolves them utterly from any moral obligation in terms of the public -- but this was precisely Eichmann's excuse for his job in the concentration camps.