Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday October 20, 2023

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young lady named Nelly Whose tits would jiggle like...
There was a young lady named Nelly Whose tits would jiggle like jelly. They could tickle her twat Or be tied in a knot, And could even swat flies on her belly.

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."