Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of April, 2023

There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it...
There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it was nuclear-powered, While grabbing some ass, He reached critical mass, But think of the girl he deflowered!

There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in...
There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were most horrid All ass and no forehead Three balls and a purple goatee.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday...
There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday in bed; He lay with his feet Outside of the sheet, And the pillows on top of his head. -- Edward Gorey

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for...
A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When...
I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door. And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor." -- Mr. Miggle

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

God rest ye CS students now, Let nothing you dismay. The VAX...
God rest ye CS students now, Let nothing you dismay. The VAX is down and won't be up, Until the first of May. The program that was due this morn, Won't be postponed, they say. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, Comfort and joy, Oh,...

Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a)...
Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a) irrelevant. (b) communists. (c) a nuisance. (d) difficult to clean off the front grille. The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are totally...