Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of May, 2023

"You've got to think about...
"You've got to think about tomorrow!" "TOMORROW! I haven't even prepared for *yesterday* yet!"

There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard...
There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard in town. He was caught by G-men Shooting his semen Where the cops would slip and fall down.

There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is...
There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is the story concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And fondled the cock Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a young sapphic named Anna Who stuffed her friend's...
There was a young sapphic named Anna Who stuffed her friend's cunt with banana, Which she sucked, bit by bit, From her partner's warm slit, In the most approved lesbian manner.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right...
Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words. The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have: An evil person tries to blow up the world, but James Bond kills him...

"If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work...
"If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?"

"Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat." ...
"Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat." -- M. Devine and P. Larson, Computer Science 340

Brucify, v: 1: Kill by nailing onto style(9);...
Brucify, v: 1: Kill by nailing onto style(9); "David O'Brien was brucified" 2: Annoy constantly by reminding of potential improvements [syn: {torment}, {rag}, {tantalize}, {bedevil}, {dun}, {frustrate}] ...